Hitting Mom is a BAD Idea...

Our Toys R Us was having a sale and was stuffed full of clearance items so after Aiden did so well at getting his flu "shot" (nasal spray version), I took him up there to play at the store while I tackled our list of birthday & cousin gifts. An hour later we're in the checkout line when I tell Aiden no, he cannot play with some tiny breakable junk toy by the register. He freaks out, begins screaming and trying to hit me. I wheel us up to the register to pay and he hits my hands, smashing them against the shopping cart bar then strikes me twice more on the arm as I ignore him and unload our cart. When my back is turned, he lands a blow so forcefully under my shoulder blade that it forces an exhale, I wince in pain and I can hear all the moms and grandmothers behind me gasp at the fleshy THUD from his strike. I turn quickly, eyes flashing with anger but controlling my own reactions and hiss that hitting is not allowed, then push our cart forcefully away from me so it rolls to an empty cart area near the door with Aiden still sitting in it. He screams, cries and wails at an enormous volume for the next 2 minutes while I finish my purchase. All eyes are on me. What else is new? I actually have a half-second to note that after hearing everyone gasp, my first thought was for Aiden's future success at school if we don't curtail this hitting and that the first familiar prick of embarrassment was extinguished by my next thought of what I should do to stop this horrible hitting problem. Who has time to care what complete strangers think!

I have Aiden apologize to me before I wipe his eyes, help him blow his nose and remove him from the cart. He walks calmly with me to the car, as if he has never misbehaved in his life. My back is dully aching the entire drive home and the car is silent as I work through in my mind what I should do. Hitting as punishment for hitting is never the right answer so that is out. Time outs, that may work for other children, are not reliable with Aiden because they spawn toy-throwing rages that only allow him more physical expression for his anger. (Even if there are no toys, he will rip the decor off the wall in his room and throw those, simply because he's been put in time out.) Difficult child and time-outs don't really work. I'd looked up several parenting things on LDS.org and all of it said to discipline firmly but with kindness. Okay....how? Another parenting book comes to mind that said discipline should benefit the recipient, giving them opportunity to learn instead of taking away the learning opportunity by putting the child in time-out. Fine. How? I then thought of how truly difficult Aiden can be and how Brian and I pray every night that we will know the right things to do for him that he may learn and grow well. I am nearly beginning to think "why is there so little help for me?" when an idea suddenly pops into my head and my mouth begins saying it before I have even thought it through but it's the best idea I've gotten yet! I tell Aiden that when he gets angry and his hands want to hit that it means they are not getting enough exercise and we need to do things that will help exercise them so they won't want to hit when he feels angry. I actually smile when I get the idea of what his "exercise" should be:



Last night I cooked dinner for a family who just had twins - their 4th and 5th children - so I had to cook for an army and my splattered stovetop showed it. Scrubbing is good exercise for hands that like to hit...



....and so is cleaning the TV...

...and unloading the dishwasher...

...and scrubbing out the sink with Comet...

...Windexing the back door glass...

...and cleaning all the sticky fingerprints off the hope chest.

Yep, hitting mom is a BAD IDEA! However when it came to meeting the demands of discipline with kindness in a way that taught him without using harshness, this idea was pure genius and totally inspired. And the more I watched him clean the more thoughts came to my mind about how this same thing can be used when he's not listening and obeying (needs to practice listening to cleaning instructions and following through) and to when he's refusing to do things (needs to practice doing more things, like household tasks, when he is asked to) and as a consequence to defiance, mess making and the general mayhem he creates, this will be a great way to teach through tactile activity that he cannot go through life wreaking havoc or he will be continually presented with such "opportunities for learning at home"! I guess it takes one really good whack in the back during our hundredth temper tantrum to create the scene for me to list out everything I know, confess the things I don't know and think "Okay, HOW?!!" before the moment is ideal for the perfect answer. Our tactile boy needs tactile learning and tactile discipline. It's pretty cool when prayers are answered just when you need it. :)

Favorite Things

We'll take a quick intermission to mention some of Aiden's favorite things while at Nana and Papa Bob's besides all of the fun activities. He has loved playing in the upstairs game room with all of the really cool games, puzzles, and toys.

But most of all he has loved the cats. If ever he disappears, and we don't hear him, we know that he has headed off to see the cats.

Who may not be as thrilled to see him as he is to see them!

Playing In The Creek & Ice Cream

Once we got home from Orr Family Farms Tuesday afternoon, it was time for Papa Bob to get home from work, which meant that it was time for Aiden to get to play in the creek while Mommy and Daddy got to out on a date for the evening.

The creek behind my Dad's house has been his pet project ever since they moved into their house in Oklahoma. Don't let this next picture fool you, even though there are toys in the background, I am sure that Aiden was put to work shoveling dirt for the next project! j/k

After all of their hard work and play, it was off to Braum's for some ice cream. Aiden's favorite color is orange, so I am sure that is why he ended up with orange sherbet. As to why the ice cream is bigger than he is, we'll never know.

Luckily, he doesn't mind sharing. "Here Papa Bob, help me finish this."

Orr Family Farms

So after a mostly uneventful Monday of flying into OKC (Aiden did great on the flight and enjoyed watching the gears and hydraulics moving the flaps on the wing our window looked out at) and just hanging out a Nana and Papa Bob's we decided to fill our Tuesday with some adventures. Nana, Tay, Aiden and I started the day out at Orr Family Farms. It is a working horse training facility outside of OKC which has also added a family/kid friendly farm activity area. It was very clean, not too crowded, and had a lot of fun things for Aiden to do.


He really enjoyed learning how to milk a cow. Can you see the concentration?

The farm also had a section with some very large jump pillows. They were basically an inflated trampoline which we all enjoyed jumping on, including my cute wife!

There were lots of things for Aiden to ride on at the farm. We opted for the fake horse instead of paying for a pony ride, which turned out to be money well saved because he didn't seem very interested in the horses.

He enjoyed riding the big red truck during his lunch break. You may notice the cheeks puffed full of peanut butter sandwich!

He had a lot of fun on the old fashioned Merry-Go-Round.

But, his favorite was definitely the train ride. You can't beat a Thomas look alike and getting to sit with Mommy and Nana.

The conductor even let him get in and blow the whistle!

We ended the day with the "hay ride" which was really just riding in a trailer being pulled by a big tractor out to the pumpkin patch where we all got to pick out a pumpkin.

I was happy that Aiden chose one that I could carry rather than this one.

We had a great time, and then headed home for the rest of the awesome activities for the day.

Oklahoma Trip

Early on in the summer Nana and Papa Bob called us and asked that we come and visit since it had been too long since they had last seen us (read: Aiden). We had a busy summer planned out, and the thought of long days out in the heat didn't sound that fun, so we postponed the trip to this past week. That turned out to be a great idea, because we have had some great weather, and have really enjoyed ourselves.

We've been in Oklahoma since Monday, and will head home early Saturday. The break from work has been wonderful, and Tay and I have been able to have a couple of date nights while being here. It has also been a lot of fun to see Aiden bond with his grandparents.

Anyways, the next couple of posts will be about our trip and the fun activities we have had.

Blue Bell Factory

This past Friday Tay and Aiden joined the Meads on a pilgrimage to one of the most revered places in Texas, The Blue Bell Factory. I, unfortunately, was stuck at work while everyone else got to see where and how the best ice cream in the world is made.

Here is Aiden with Garner III and Julie.

Aiden really enjoyed the tour, because he loves to see big machines and how they work. At the end of the tour, you get a bowl of ice cream.

There is nothing better than sticky ice cream fingers!