Tay: While running around today getting us packed up for our trip to visit my parents, I found Aiden in the office spinning in my office chair. He knocked the pen that goes to my digital drawing tablet on the floor, permanently damaging the fragile internal wiring & assembly. I was LIVID to the point I couldn't even speak. I tried fixing the pen to no avail and put Aiden in his room with directions to NOT come out until "mommy's special pen" was fixed. I could hear him sobbing in his room while I read techincal support info online and unhappily placed an order for a new replacement pen in white since they don't have the cool blue pens that matched my Bamboo Fun tablet. Still fuming, I e-mailed Brian about what his son had done and the pen I was having to have shipped 3-day Air because the July 4th holiday screwed up shipping schedules so badly I still wouldn't have it for a WEEK, putting ALL my graphic designing on hold until this necessary tool was replaced.
I hit send on the e-mail and wheeled around to leave the office when I saw Aiden standing in the doorway, silent, eyes wide with uncertainty. I exhaled and promised myself I wouldn't make him feel any worse. Very quietly he handed me his Tag Junior case, with it's handheld digital reading pal - the closest thing he could think of to replace my digital pen. My heart melted at his silent offer at the same time my brain jumped at the realization my three year-old understood the complex concept of cordless digital hardware interacting with computer software interfaces. Humbled by his willingness to give up one of his things, I realized the replacement pen was no more expensive than the avearage toy but I had treated his feelings as if they were worth less than $29.95 to me. Apology accepted Aiden but it's me who owes you the deeper apology. I'm so sorry. How is it you are sometimes so much wiser than me? May my new white pen always be a reminder to me that everything can be replaced but feelings, once damaged, cannot be un-hurt. I love you and hope you can forgive me for what I damaged and cannot replace by simply ordering it online.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Updates
Tay: My heart goes out to everyone with a child who has differences and needs because the tangle of reading hundreds of articles, making dozens upon dozens of phone calls, searching for counselors, meeting with doctors and tracking down the best help all so you can get a diagnosis is exhausting! It's been 8 months and I feel like we've learned so many things and yet not been told hardly a thing.
The most relieving news came yesterday when an Autism Speacialist, Melanie Johnston, that I have been in touch with said she'd looked over all Aiden's files and information carefully and felt she could rule out true autism completely. He still will be tested for a full range of developmental disorders including Aspergers and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) by Texas Children's Hospital but they are experiencing a 4-6 month backlog. I've been calling to check the status of Aiden's paperwork frequently but the reality is he may not be evaluated until Christmas. That's a long wait for a diagnosis.
Meanwhile Melanie also had some news that the disappearance of Aiden's toy throwing & atypical behaviors when he has adequate tactile stimulation sounded very much like Sensory Integrative Disorder - also called Sensory Processing Disorder. I was stunned because not two weeks ago I had stumbled upon a message board of moms who were suffering from chronic toy-throwing boys and several said their sons had been diagnosed with this. (Luckily they also said almost every boy stopped throwing toys around age 4 or 5 on their own, seeming "miraculously cured" when kindergarten started and their hands were busy several hours per day.) I had read about this disorder on my own and was surprised at how much it sounded like Aiden. You can read about SI here.
Melanie gave me the name of an Occupational Therapist that specializes in diagnosing SI. I am waiting anxiously to hear back from her and something in my gut is telling me we are finally on the right track. Autism never "felt right" and he didn't really fit the Asperger's markers either. Something having to do with TACTILE and his intense need to use his sense of touch is the only thing that has made any sense and, when corrected through abundance of tactile stimulation, is the only thing that has altered his behavior. As of now you know all that we know but I thought the family might like an update. :) Melanie is also putting me in touch with a Behavioral Analyst that will do in-home consultations and help us tailor an early intervention & non-medicated therapy approach for Aiden to understand the way he interacts & interprets the world and have him class room ready by Kindergarten.
On a more fun note, this has definately had a BIG silver lining for me! I am getting to use my creativity at full-throttle and every Sunday night I now spend time making tactile learning toys & helps for Aiden. I've been using my digital drawing tablet to create my own sewing patterns, my Silhouette machine to cut them out of cardstock & my sewing machine to stitch whatever the current project is. I also ordered some unfinished wood cutout mushroom shapes that I painted to give Aiden a fun way to play with mushrooms and overcome his excessive focus on them. It worked - we don't hear much about mushrooms these days!
It has been so much effort, more stress than I can explain and I've had to completely re-arrange my life, drifting from all but my closest friends and cutting down the amount of "me", "us" and "house" things I do to devote hours every day to Aiden's needs. And yet I realize that I have been drug from the world of gossip and girlfriends with a legitimate reason to ignore all of those silly things and in the process of lavishing attention on my only child and JUST PLAYING, I have realized how shallow and unfulfilling the rest of the world is. I am getting a free pass to a better life - all wrapped up in having a "high involvement" child - and there's no denying it's a blessing in disguise. In these few short months I have made more memories than I can count and when I get it right - when I actually spend my time on the things that are truly important - I am happy beyond what I have ever previously known. I would have never realized any of this had Aiden been a "normal" child who was less demanding and let me waste my life on other unimportant things. :)
The most relieving news came yesterday when an Autism Speacialist, Melanie Johnston, that I have been in touch with said she'd looked over all Aiden's files and information carefully and felt she could rule out true autism completely. He still will be tested for a full range of developmental disorders including Aspergers and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) by Texas Children's Hospital but they are experiencing a 4-6 month backlog. I've been calling to check the status of Aiden's paperwork frequently but the reality is he may not be evaluated until Christmas. That's a long wait for a diagnosis.
Meanwhile Melanie also had some news that the disappearance of Aiden's toy throwing & atypical behaviors when he has adequate tactile stimulation sounded very much like Sensory Integrative Disorder - also called Sensory Processing Disorder. I was stunned because not two weeks ago I had stumbled upon a message board of moms who were suffering from chronic toy-throwing boys and several said their sons had been diagnosed with this. (Luckily they also said almost every boy stopped throwing toys around age 4 or 5 on their own, seeming "miraculously cured" when kindergarten started and their hands were busy several hours per day.) I had read about this disorder on my own and was surprised at how much it sounded like Aiden. You can read about SI here.
Melanie gave me the name of an Occupational Therapist that specializes in diagnosing SI. I am waiting anxiously to hear back from her and something in my gut is telling me we are finally on the right track. Autism never "felt right" and he didn't really fit the Asperger's markers either. Something having to do with TACTILE and his intense need to use his sense of touch is the only thing that has made any sense and, when corrected through abundance of tactile stimulation, is the only thing that has altered his behavior. As of now you know all that we know but I thought the family might like an update. :) Melanie is also putting me in touch with a Behavioral Analyst that will do in-home consultations and help us tailor an early intervention & non-medicated therapy approach for Aiden to understand the way he interacts & interprets the world and have him class room ready by Kindergarten.
On a more fun note, this has definately had a BIG silver lining for me! I am getting to use my creativity at full-throttle and every Sunday night I now spend time making tactile learning toys & helps for Aiden. I've been using my digital drawing tablet to create my own sewing patterns, my Silhouette machine to cut them out of cardstock & my sewing machine to stitch whatever the current project is. I also ordered some unfinished wood cutout mushroom shapes that I painted to give Aiden a fun way to play with mushrooms and overcome his excessive focus on them. It worked - we don't hear much about mushrooms these days!
It has been so much effort, more stress than I can explain and I've had to completely re-arrange my life, drifting from all but my closest friends and cutting down the amount of "me", "us" and "house" things I do to devote hours every day to Aiden's needs. And yet I realize that I have been drug from the world of gossip and girlfriends with a legitimate reason to ignore all of those silly things and in the process of lavishing attention on my only child and JUST PLAYING, I have realized how shallow and unfulfilling the rest of the world is. I am getting a free pass to a better life - all wrapped up in having a "high involvement" child - and there's no denying it's a blessing in disguise. In these few short months I have made more memories than I can count and when I get it right - when I actually spend my time on the things that are truly important - I am happy beyond what I have ever previously known. I would have never realized any of this had Aiden been a "normal" child who was less demanding and let me waste my life on other unimportant things. :)
Monday, June 7, 2010
New bed & dresser: $607
New carpet: $272
New mattress: $216
Pottery Barn Kids surf bedding: $128
Sleeping in your new big boy room any way you want: Priceless
Tay: We ordered Aiden's bed & dresser during a memorial day sale and I spent the rest of the week haggling with salesmen to finish converting Aiden's bedroom into a bog boy room. When I was 6 months pregnant, I fell in LOVE with this brown, blue and navy surf room set. I made all his nursery decor signs to match this bedding set and purchased the twin quilt & sheeting from PBK when it went on clearance when Aiden was just 3 months old.
I spent most of last week running all over Houston, trying to find a good quality carpet remnant and installer to put it in. After being quoted $495 and $380 for Aiden's bedroom, I realized my $200 budget was not realistic but in my search I found an AWESOME floorcovering store inside the loop with a massive selection of room-sized remnants and the owner put me in touch with Tio who will be doing all of our carpet installs. (I'm eyeing our master bedroom next.) Aiden ended up with a gorgeous pin-dot pattern luxury carpet in his room that has a fine, short pile that is excellent for driving cars on! That was actually one of the reasons I selected it, next to the fact that it's easy to clean short pile carpet all the way to the backing if he throws up. His existing builder-grade carpet was heavily soiled and stained, despite our best cleaning efforts, and it was in need of replacement. Aiden's easy gag-reflex and vomiting with every cold & fever will probably always mean we replace his carpeting more often than most households. Thank goodness for my job at Flooring America. I never would have guessed it would come in so handy!
Next I had to get a mattress. In March my parents generously offered to pay $200 towards the mattress as part of Aiden's birthday gift. I let that dollar amount set my budget and was shocked to find that a fair quality mattress would be at least $300 and the quality I wanted would run $500 or more. Feeling up for the shopping challenge, I hit the Mattress Firm Clearance Center on a slow, quiet Friday at 3 pm and (playfully) worked the sales rep over. I ended up leaving with a premium quality Sealy floor model for $216 after tax - about $300 off the retail price. I was SO proud of myself and called my mom, who was stunned by the current prices of mattresses and even more stunned by my haggled price!
Last but not least was the furniture swap. The dark brown Ikea cubby, which matches his new furniture incredibly well, came out of the office and Aiden's white bookcase took it's place. His white dresser is being turned into linen & art supply storage in the playroom and his crib will go into the attic until we need it again in a couple years. Aiden's room will make a slow transition to doubling as his playroom so the playroom can become a second bedroom when we need it. (For now I guess he's just a spoiled only child with two rooms all to himself! LOL!)
So last night was Aiden's first official night sleeping in his new big boy room. We put him to bed just before 8 and re-put him to bed twelve more times after he came out for various excuses, the newest being requests for drinks of water. (Honestly, where does EVERY kid learn this trick?!!) A little after 9 I got tired of the game and hauled in a stack of children's church books, which Aiden finds so boring he usually refuses to have us read them or falls asleep. Just what we needed! I read three, sang Aiden several quiet songs (including Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam about fifteen times so he could learn all the words) and then kissed him goodnight for the eighteenth time around 10:15. The room fell quiet shortly thereafter and Brian and I got ready for bed. At 10:45 I heard Brian open the door to peek in on Aiden and then I heard him clap a hand to his mouth and begin shaking with rolls of muffled laughter! He ran for the camera as I went to see what was so funny. There on the floor was Aiden, legs sticking out, half-way under his bed and completely asleep! After all that work this was akin to having him play with the box the toy came in but it was so hilarious it didn't matter! Unbeknownst to us Aiden had discovered a new, secret playspace he didn't have before. It kind of ruins my plans for under-bed storage but I'm so thrilled to see creativity exploding out of him these days that I'll gladly swap storage for creative play!
Speaking of which, the next thing I'd like to add to his room is a beautiful block set that I've been saving my graphics commission money for, especially since Aiden cannot get enough of building "sidewalks" with blocks for his cars to drive on! :)
Our end goal was to purchase sturdy, good quality items that would give Aiden a cool room that would last him all the way through middle-school and I think we did just that. Thank you, Brian, for all you do and how hard you work for us. I love you!
New carpet: $272
New mattress: $216
Pottery Barn Kids surf bedding: $128
Sleeping in your new big boy room any way you want: Priceless
Tay: We ordered Aiden's bed & dresser during a memorial day sale and I spent the rest of the week haggling with salesmen to finish converting Aiden's bedroom into a bog boy room. When I was 6 months pregnant, I fell in LOVE with this brown, blue and navy surf room set. I made all his nursery decor signs to match this bedding set and purchased the twin quilt & sheeting from PBK when it went on clearance when Aiden was just 3 months old.
I spent most of last week running all over Houston, trying to find a good quality carpet remnant and installer to put it in. After being quoted $495 and $380 for Aiden's bedroom, I realized my $200 budget was not realistic but in my search I found an AWESOME floorcovering store inside the loop with a massive selection of room-sized remnants and the owner put me in touch with Tio who will be doing all of our carpet installs. (I'm eyeing our master bedroom next.) Aiden ended up with a gorgeous pin-dot pattern luxury carpet in his room that has a fine, short pile that is excellent for driving cars on! That was actually one of the reasons I selected it, next to the fact that it's easy to clean short pile carpet all the way to the backing if he throws up. His existing builder-grade carpet was heavily soiled and stained, despite our best cleaning efforts, and it was in need of replacement. Aiden's easy gag-reflex and vomiting with every cold & fever will probably always mean we replace his carpeting more often than most households. Thank goodness for my job at Flooring America. I never would have guessed it would come in so handy!
Next I had to get a mattress. In March my parents generously offered to pay $200 towards the mattress as part of Aiden's birthday gift. I let that dollar amount set my budget and was shocked to find that a fair quality mattress would be at least $300 and the quality I wanted would run $500 or more. Feeling up for the shopping challenge, I hit the Mattress Firm Clearance Center on a slow, quiet Friday at 3 pm and (playfully) worked the sales rep over. I ended up leaving with a premium quality Sealy floor model for $216 after tax - about $300 off the retail price. I was SO proud of myself and called my mom, who was stunned by the current prices of mattresses and even more stunned by my haggled price!
Last but not least was the furniture swap. The dark brown Ikea cubby, which matches his new furniture incredibly well, came out of the office and Aiden's white bookcase took it's place. His white dresser is being turned into linen & art supply storage in the playroom and his crib will go into the attic until we need it again in a couple years. Aiden's room will make a slow transition to doubling as his playroom so the playroom can become a second bedroom when we need it. (For now I guess he's just a spoiled only child with two rooms all to himself! LOL!)
So last night was Aiden's first official night sleeping in his new big boy room. We put him to bed just before 8 and re-put him to bed twelve more times after he came out for various excuses, the newest being requests for drinks of water. (Honestly, where does EVERY kid learn this trick?!!) A little after 9 I got tired of the game and hauled in a stack of children's church books, which Aiden finds so boring he usually refuses to have us read them or falls asleep. Just what we needed! I read three, sang Aiden several quiet songs (including Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam about fifteen times so he could learn all the words) and then kissed him goodnight for the eighteenth time around 10:15. The room fell quiet shortly thereafter and Brian and I got ready for bed. At 10:45 I heard Brian open the door to peek in on Aiden and then I heard him clap a hand to his mouth and begin shaking with rolls of muffled laughter! He ran for the camera as I went to see what was so funny. There on the floor was Aiden, legs sticking out, half-way under his bed and completely asleep! After all that work this was akin to having him play with the box the toy came in but it was so hilarious it didn't matter! Unbeknownst to us Aiden had discovered a new, secret playspace he didn't have before. It kind of ruins my plans for under-bed storage but I'm so thrilled to see creativity exploding out of him these days that I'll gladly swap storage for creative play!
Speaking of which, the next thing I'd like to add to his room is a beautiful block set that I've been saving my graphics commission money for, especially since Aiden cannot get enough of building "sidewalks" with blocks for his cars to drive on! :)
Our end goal was to purchase sturdy, good quality items that would give Aiden a cool room that would last him all the way through middle-school and I think we did just that. Thank you, Brian, for all you do and how hard you work for us. I love you!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Hollie: The Sweetest Bird EVER
Tay: Sometimes I get lucky with pets. Hollie came from PetCo as a healthy baby of about 3 months who had not learned to bite yet. (Birds are usually taught this from other birds. And possibly from toddler attacks...we'll see.) At first Aiden was gentle as an angel with her. Now every time I head for the bathroom he heads for her cage with one of his plastic golf clubs. Believe it or not, she's still not biting. I'm working to help Aiden understand why he can't be mean to her (because she won't even defend herself) and he seems to enjoy her any time she's out. Here are some pictures I took of him today with Hollie obeying his "step up" command and sweetly tolerating being held:
On a side note, Hollie is now about 4 months old but she is so clumsy! I've never seen a parakeet lose its balance so easily, miss perch jumps and have such careless footing! I knew when I saw her in a cage holding a flock of about 25 birds that she was the one for me. And not just because she's bright aqua and gorgeous. (Actually I knew it when Aiden banged on the glass near her and all the other birds flew into a burst of upset and she looked up at me, completely oblivious to what had just happened, glanced at Aiden then noticed she had the seed bowl all to herself and went back to eating!) We love her. :)
On a side note, Hollie is now about 4 months old but she is so clumsy! I've never seen a parakeet lose its balance so easily, miss perch jumps and have such careless footing! I knew when I saw her in a cage holding a flock of about 25 birds that she was the one for me. And not just because she's bright aqua and gorgeous. (Actually I knew it when Aiden banged on the glass near her and all the other birds flew into a burst of upset and she looked up at me, completely oblivious to what had just happened, glanced at Aiden then noticed she had the seed bowl all to herself and went back to eating!) We love her. :)
Potty Training Aiden Stories
Tay: Nothing like having the wifey take over the blog right Bri? Any ways, it's potty training time over here and with Aiden that always makes for gobs of excitement! First let me say Aiden is doing INCREDIBLE. Like all-the-books-say-this-is-impossible-and-I-don't-dare-brag-to-my-girlfriends kind of incredible! We had a grand total of four, maybe five accidents over a period of 48 hours late last week before Aiden was consistently pottying AND POOPING in the toilet ON HIS OWN throughout the day. (I'd like to say a special thank you to my friend Rachael who gave me a sly, knowing smile last year and said "Trust me. Wait until at least a month after his third birthday and then try. It will be the easiest thing you ever did." She was exactly right!)
But, alas, it wouldn't be potty training Aiden without his own unique flair being added to the mix. While the poopy and potty are (miraculously) making it cleanly into the toilet, nothing else around this child has anything to do with clean. Case in point, here is a photo I snapped of the bathroom after Aiden used it on his own for FIVE SECONDS while I ran around packing him a few toys, snacks and a drink for errands today:
His cushioned toddler toilet seat thing is, in his mind, a hindrance so when I hear it hit and chip the drywall after being flung off the toilet, I know Aiden is in the bathroom. Toilet paper has become as fascinating as it was at 14 months (sweet love, I had forgotten how fast the stuff unrolls) and I'm not entirely sure what bathroom activity necessitates a sippy cup, a glitter microphone and a high chair but it's all in there. Hidden in the fluff-mound of toilet paper are his still-dry underwear that never seem to make it back on after a bathroom run. (Again, that's how I know he's toileting by himself during the day. Plus the nearly overflowing paper-clogged toilets of course...) The nudity thing is becoming a mild issue because now Aiden is perfectly content to run around in nothing but a t-shirt and he finds this perfectly acceptable attire for getting the mail, chasing Max in the front yard and watering the plants....with real water...from a pitcher....bottomless. I have often joked with Brian that "this place is like a Frat house" but now it really is with half-naked boys and all.
But I am SOOOOOO proud of Aiden! I honestly cannot take any credit for myself for his potty training. My book said you can't force another human being to learn to use the toilet and you shouldn't appear desperate to get your child to learn. My trick was to not even CARE about toilet training beyond reading the book and doing a few basic things that appeared to Brian as if we had really started toilet training (while I secretly saw no reason to give up the wonderful convenience of diapers for pit-stops every 5 minutes). Lo and behold my faking it for Brian did the trick for Aiden. :)
But, alas, it wouldn't be potty training Aiden without his own unique flair being added to the mix. While the poopy and potty are (miraculously) making it cleanly into the toilet, nothing else around this child has anything to do with clean. Case in point, here is a photo I snapped of the bathroom after Aiden used it on his own for FIVE SECONDS while I ran around packing him a few toys, snacks and a drink for errands today:
His cushioned toddler toilet seat thing is, in his mind, a hindrance so when I hear it hit and chip the drywall after being flung off the toilet, I know Aiden is in the bathroom. Toilet paper has become as fascinating as it was at 14 months (sweet love, I had forgotten how fast the stuff unrolls) and I'm not entirely sure what bathroom activity necessitates a sippy cup, a glitter microphone and a high chair but it's all in there. Hidden in the fluff-mound of toilet paper are his still-dry underwear that never seem to make it back on after a bathroom run. (Again, that's how I know he's toileting by himself during the day. Plus the nearly overflowing paper-clogged toilets of course...) The nudity thing is becoming a mild issue because now Aiden is perfectly content to run around in nothing but a t-shirt and he finds this perfectly acceptable attire for getting the mail, chasing Max in the front yard and watering the plants....with real water...from a pitcher....bottomless. I have often joked with Brian that "this place is like a Frat house" but now it really is with half-naked boys and all.
But I am SOOOOOO proud of Aiden! I honestly cannot take any credit for myself for his potty training. My book said you can't force another human being to learn to use the toilet and you shouldn't appear desperate to get your child to learn. My trick was to not even CARE about toilet training beyond reading the book and doing a few basic things that appeared to Brian as if we had really started toilet training (while I secretly saw no reason to give up the wonderful convenience of diapers for pit-stops every 5 minutes). Lo and behold my faking it for Brian did the trick for Aiden. :)
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